Nobody likes to deliver bad news, especially if that information could hurt someone’s feelings. 

Actually, a few people have no trouble with these conversations and that can be a sign of poor leadership. Great leaders have empathy for their people. It hurts the leader to deliver a poor performance review because they know it might hurt the individual. 

Great workplaces must have these hard conversations. That is why the 5:1 praise to correction ratio is so important to keep everyone’s spirits up. If everyone knows that leadership has their best interests at heart, they can take the tough news because they know that news is being delivered to make them stronger.

There is an art to these conversations. Whenever we are going to have a tough conversation, it helps to prepare and it never hurts to have a script. Here is my six-step process to address the problem and promote positive future performance.

1) Address the Problem Early

Nothing good grows in the gap between expectations and outcomes. As the leader, you must make the time to address the problem before your opinion of the individual worsens or the problem expands. If the problem lies with your teammate and not you, this is a teachable moment that can redirect their future performance. The earlier you have the conversation the better.

2) Address the Problem Privately

Follow the mantra of all great leaders to “praise publicly and correct privately.”

3) Start with Praise 

Look for the good in the situation and the individual. If you look hard enough you can find something to praise about the person or the work they have done. Starting with praise helps build rapport and lets your teammate know how much you value them and their contribution to the team.

4) Be Clear 

Describe the problem clearly and without blame. Honestly seek to uncover all the facts. Clearly describe the negative impact caused by the problem.

Try to imagine a scenario that puts the blame on you. What could you have done to have avoided the problem? This exercise will help you address the situation without assuming the guilt of the other party.

It is best to have your version of the facts written down before the meeting so you can be as clear as possible.

5) Fill the Gap With Trust

A gap is created when an outcome differs from the expectation. We can fill that gap with trust or suspicion. Lack of trust is a tax on the performance of any organization. Great leaders build a culture of trust by filling the gap with trust. They give the gift of trust until the individual has proven their lack of trustworthiness. Even if a person has disappointed you in the past, you can choose to trust them going forward.

Here is the key. Once you can no longer place trust in an individual you must separate them from the organization. Keeping people in the organization who you no longer trust kills the culture you are working to build.

For a great lesson on this topic do a web search for “Andy Stanley – Trust vs. Suspicion.”

Consider this example. You expected your employee to meet you at 9 am so you can ride together to an important client meeting. It is 9:15 and if he doesn’t show up soon, you will be late. You are faced with a gap between what you expected and what was delivered. Do you fill that gap with suspicion or trust?

Great leaders who want to create an organization built on trust fill that gap with trust. They avoid the urge to attribute a gap to someone’s character or intentions. They assume the best until proven otherwise.

6) Get Them Back on the Horse

If you can still trust the individual, express your trust in their future performance. Send them back out with the confidence that they will deliver.

The best example of a redirect I have ever seen is from the 1993 epic “Gettysburg.” I’ll cover that example next week.

In the meantime, try these six steps if you find yourself with an expectation gap.